What is Conscious Uncoupling?
Understanding Conscious Uncoupling
News, popular culture and social media websites are abuzz today with the news that Hollywood actress Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, rocker Chris Martin of the band Coldplay are separating after 10 years of marriage. Although this is sad news, what has interested me is the fact that the word “Conscious Uncoupling” has entered the cultural zeitgeist. What is Conscious Uncoupling? Is it, as some pundits have claimed, a bunch of New Age hooey spun by celebrities who think their breakup is better than yours?
Is Conscious Uncoupling a bunch of New Age hooey spun by celebrities who think their breakup is better than yours?
Having taken many coaching clients through the Conscious Uncoupling process, I can attest to the fact that the term existed long before yesterday’s breaking news story. Conscious Uncoupling is a tender, smart and incredibly effective program that my revered mentor and best selling author Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT created to help men and women navigate the difficulties inherent in breakups.
I often tell my clients that what is so difficult about a breakup is not only the grief and anger that comes with the business of separation, but also the resurgence of old emotional wounds that come to the surface at the worst possible time. It is this potentially lethal combination (grief + anger + old wounds) that makes separation and divorce nasty, hurtful and tricky to navigate.
Internet memes and quibbles over “New Age” jargon aside, I think an excellent service has been done by Ms. Paltrow and Mr. Martin because they have brought the idea of consciously uncoupling into popular culture. Many men and women who are in real pain and confusion about the state of their relationships will now be able to get help with completion in a way that fosters healing for both parties. That’s a very good thing.
How to Get Support
If you need support, there are many resources available to you. You can listen to this free call and glean helpful information from Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT about what Conscious Uncoupling entails. You can reach out to a Marriage and Family Therapist, or a Transformative Coach like myself for one-on-one support.
Whatever you do, try to stay open to the possibility of ending your union in a way that sets you up to flourish as you move forward with your life.